Because my car’s still in the shop, today I took the train to school like in the old days. I felt like it was two years ago when I started this grad program and spent many many long hours waiting for/riding the train, all bright eyed and bushy tailed and increasingly fatigued.
The first year of grad school was the worst. For a moment this morning, riding the train, my body/mind must have flashbacked to two years ago when my anxiety was off the charts and I wanted to run away from school and join a band of cheesemongers. I had a visceral reaction to the whole train-routine…standing at the commuter rail stop with my ipod and the Metro; riding backwards out of the suburbs and into the city; rushing through the station to grab the T; squeezing into a seat on a train that gets less and less crowded with each stop, until I arrive at my school. Panic seized me—with no reason—until I remember that it was now, things were better, I liked school, and I’d get my car back soon.
Phew. Also, third year of school. I’m a junior of sorts.
My mechanic was running behind so I had to kill some time before getting my car. I sat at an outdoor cafe under an umbrella because it was raining. I put my blazer on my laptop to shield it from any wayward drops and worked until my battery died. I popped the collar because I thought, well, why not?
Tomorrow is the first day of classes (today was a faculty meeting) and I’m going to paint my nails and try to go to sleep before 11 p.m. Gotta pick out my first day of school outfit!
“I popped the collar because I thought, well, why not?” – hahaha
welcome back to school. Maybe laptop rain jackets could be your ticket out of student loans